Study Abroad Scrapbook

A collection of songs, books, films, and photos from my semester abroad in Rome!

Hello beautiful people! Happy New Year! It's been quite some time since I updated Glimpses of Gracie, and I have certainly been busy! I have been so fortunate to spend the last four months of my life studying abroad in Rome and venturing all over Europe. These past four months have taught me just how wonderful our world really is! My semester in Rome has changed my life in ways I will never be able to fully put into words. These beautiful countries have become my home away from home, and my favorite travel companions have become my family. I have learned more about myself than I would have ever thought possible and embraced moments I never thought I would be blessed enough to have. I have spent the night in airports and missed flights and gone skinny dipping in the Mediterranean with girls who I once thought were entirely too cool for me and shared pink macarons on top of the Eiffel Tower and started a bar fight in Madrid and won a dance off in Dublin and eaten copious amounts of Italian gelato! I have sobbed in the places little Gracie once colored in her coloring books and doubled the amount of pictures in my camera roll. I have stood in palaces and cathedrals and monuments, and every single one has taken my breath away and rendered me speechless. For those of you who have talked to me recently, I am never someone who is at a loss for words. But this semester has made me feel like a small human in a big world experiencing true amazement for the first time.

For a long time, I was really hard on myself for not blogging it all, for not journaling more, for not capturing the moment. But while I was beating myself up, I realized I was missing these remarkable and one of a kind moments taking place right in front of me. So I vowed to be present. I vowed to soak up all of the very best that Europe had to offer. I walked dozens of miles every weekend in an effort to explore backroads and recommendations from Instagram reels and taking a chance at classic tourist attractions. If I could do it all again, I would not change a single thing. And what a gift that is! I have been surrounded by such a supportive community who is willing to walk multiple hours with me every weekend to ensure that we are able to take it all in.

Since returning to America, I have lost track of the amount of times that people have asked me some variation of "How was study abroad?" or "What was your favorite place you visited?" and what loaded questions those are! I have perfected my thirty second spiel, but that will never do justice to a semester that has taught me what it means to be fully alive. I mean, how do you even begin to capture that amazing feeling by putting it into words? The short answer is: I can't. But that's okay. I have come to find that these shortcomings do not mean I didn't seize every opportunity, it means that I did. I loved a place, and it changed me. I am so lucky.

Fortunately for me, human beings have been trying to capture these awe-inspiring feelings since the very first time someone decided to put pen to paper. We have a whole arsenal of songs, poetry, films, essays, television series, and blogs trying to detail these phenomenal stories right at our fingertips. People who have lived a lot more life than me have created some of my favorite works which I find myself referring back to time and time again. I think the best way to capture the essence of my semester abroad is to share some of these works with all of you. So without further ado, I present to all of you a project that I have been working very hard on which I lovingly refer to as my Study Abroad Scrapbook. This includes some of my favorite songs, movies, and books which have helped me to understand what it means to be loving and breathing and evolving and experiencing. People who I will never know have helped me to better understand myself. How fabulous is that?

"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)"

Song Written and Performed by the Proclaimers, August 1988

"I will walk 500 miles, and I will walk 500 more just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door."

This song was one of the very first songs I listened to upon my arrival in Rome. After well over 30 hours of no sleep, my university decided that this would be the opportune time for all things orientation. So there I was, sweating in the shuttle which took us from Fiumicino Airport to the one and only John Cabot University. There, we were greeted by a team of orientation leaders who were far to enthusiastic for my jet-lagged brain's liking. I filled out a seemingly endless pile of forms and entered my log-in into five different computers. I received a paper about how to access my apartment and waited in the cafeteria for over an hour for a taxi to bring me to this mystery apartment. At that point, I thought the worst was over, and to that the universe responded with a cheeky "not quite."

I arrived with all of my tastefully pink suitcases in front of a rather dilapidated building. I showed two kind volunteers the paper I had received, and they immediately burst into laughter. I was so embarrassed because I had assumed they were laughing at me. They said something to me in Italian that I did not understand, and then my sweet roommate came around the corner. I will never forget it, she said "there's a surprise for you at the top." So I gave her the best hug I could muster and grabbed my duffel. When I entered the building, I saw a sign which said that the elevator was broken. I figured this was no problem as it is not uncommon for buildings in Europe to be built without an elevator. So we walked up a flight of stairs. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. I wish I was kidding when I tell you that we were assigned to live on the eighth floor. I realized that the laughter I heard from the volunteers may have been them trying to stave off hysterical tears.

When we opened the door, another one of my sweet roommates was on the phone in tears. Thankfully, another one gave me the grand tour. There were suspicious stains on the couch, claw marks on the wall next to the fridge, black mold scattered across the sink and countertops, and dead worms in the toilet. Over the next few weeks, we made many trips to our housing department and received multiple visits from the building's maintenance team. The power and water were turned off interchangeably for days at a time, and it was suffocatingly hot in our apartment. This was obviously a very less-than-ideal situation for all of us, but now looking back on this time, it makes me laugh. I had mustered up the courage to move halfway across the world, and I had been met by a truly horrendous living situation. I learned to pivot like I never have before.

If the situation itself was not enough, our apartment was a half an hour walk from the university. So every morning, I woke up, got ready, popped in my AirPods, and made my way to school. This song by the Proclaimers became one of my favorites to get the walk started, and before I knew it, I was in a good mood. How blessed I was to walk through the ancient streets of Rome on my way to class in the mornings. I drank countless cappuccinos and ate countless croissants on my explorations, and I determined by the end of my trip that I had certainly walked at least 500 miles. And that was totally alright with me, because I also decided that I would gladly walk 500 more!

"Greenlights"

A Memoir by Matthew McConaughey

"Greenlights mean go, advance, carry on, continue. On the road, they are set up to give the flow of traffic the right of way, and when scheduled properly, more vehicles catch more greenlights in succession. They say proceed. Catching greenlights is also about timing. The world's timing, and ours. When we are in the zone, on the frequency, and with the flow."

Gosh, there really are not enough words for how much I love this book. I read it for the first time two summers ago during a really dark time in my life, and it completely changed my mindset. McConaughey's self-acclaimed "love letter to life" is all about the greenlights in his own life: the opportunities and the stories that have made him the man he is. Since reading it for the first time, I constantly refer back to it in times of uncertainty, and new perspectives are made clear to me every time. For this one, I highly recommend the audiobook as McConaughey narrates it himself, and it is fantastic! Hearing his voice always causes me to reflect back on the greenlights in my own life, and there is certainly no shortage of them. I am surrounded by an abundance of greenlights!

My first out-of-Italy trip was a solo flight to meet up with some of my best friends in Munich, Germany for the famous and fabulous Oktoberfest! For those of you who are unfamiliar, Oktoberfest is a festival that takes place over the span of three weekends from the end of September to the beginning of October throughout Germany. The best way I can think to describe it is Disneyland with lots and lots of beer. There are roller coasters and tents with tables for dancing, and everyone is dressed in dirndls and lederhosen (both of which are as ridiculous as they sound)! The day felt surreal, and it was so much fun to celebrate with my girls.

Our next day in Munich was spent exploring the city, and we ran into these adorable greenlights which depict people holding hands with one another with this cute little heart over them. This was such a charming little sight to see, and I think it is so symbolic of my time in Europe. The thoughtfulness which is such an integral part of these cultures continues to inspire me time and time again. These little greenlights are designed to make people smile, how lovely is that? There is beauty in community and holding hands with one another, and there is so much joy in exploring new countries with the people you love. These little greenlights are sprinkled all over the city, and as I continued my travels, I discovered that they could be found in countries all across Europe.

In Italy, they have this saying "dolce far niente" which means "the sweetness of doing nothing." Italians generally pride themselves on slow mornings and long meals. And there is certainly truth in this sentiment, there is a certain sweetness in going with the flow and taking moments to soak in all of the goodness of the day. However, I have a different proposal: "dolcezza di fare tutto," the sweetness of doing everything. There will come times in our lives when it is essential to wrangle the very best out of the opportunity we have been given. Going abroad was one of those opportunities for me. There is a certain sweetness in doing everything, in chasing greenlights, in embracing it all. It is such a gift to be able to explore Europe, and so I did as the greenlights instructed and decided to go.

"The Pebble and the Man"

Song Written and Performed by Bridget St. John, 1972

"Happiness runs in a circular motion. Thought is like a little boat upon the sea. All our souls are deeper than you can see. You can have everything if you let yourself be. Everybody is a part of everything anywhere, you can have everything if you let yourself be."

This song found me at the moment I needed it most. It's such a magical little song that reminds me that as human beings, we are like little pebbles in the sand. We may one day reach the end of our illustrious and complicated lives to discover that even if we have done all that we can, our lives amount to no more than a drop in the ocean. And yet what is the ocean but a multitude of drops? When exploring an entire continent, there were many moments when I felt like a tiny human in a big world. It can be difficult to find purpose in a world that is constantly surprising you and reminding you of all that has happened well before your time.

I felt so little and insignificant when I found this song. I was exhausted in the Mykonos Airport which is all of three gates big when my brilliant Spotify shuffle brought this song into my life. Happiness does indeed run in a circular motion, and thought is like a little boat upon the sea. In the same way that happiness comes and goes, our thoughts ebb and flow. Life is a series of ups and downs and twists and turns. It's not easy, not even a little bit. But it is so worthwhile. All our souls are deeper than you can see. The countless individuals I shared airplanes and trains with lead lives which are just as complex as mine. They all have their own insecurities and fears and quirks and families and passions. They are all trying to get from one place to another, just like me. Everybody is a part of everything, anywhere. Our ancestors may have shared meals with one another. Your cousin might go to the same college as you mom's best friend's nephew. Everyone is connected. Everything you do creates this ripple effect that inspires the universe. Wow!

But without a doubt, my favorite line is "you can have everything if you let yourself be." Give yourself the permission to be the unfiltered and phenomenal human being you are. Everything you need already exists within you. You are already prepared for every adventure you will have. Seek comfort in that knowledge when faced with the unknown. Mykonos brought a sort of magic back into my life. Greek people living on the island were filled with so much love and joy, and they also created some of the most beautiful art I have ever seen. Their architecture is magnificent, their food is delectable, their clothes are so comfortable, and their laughs are lovely and loud. They live life boldly and inspire visitors like myself to do the same. One of the best moments of my life was spontaneously dancing through the streets of Mykonos at one in the morning belting the Mamma Mia soundtrack. Embrace your Donna, and trust me, you will find your Dynamos!

"Eat, Pray, Love"

A Memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert

"L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle... The love that moves the sun and the other stars."

"I just want God. I want God to play in my bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself on water."

"This is what rituals are for. We do spiritual ceremonies as human beings in order to create a safe resting place for our most complicated feelings of joy or trauma, so that we don't have to haul those feelings around with us forever, weighing us down. We all need such places of ritual safekeeping."

Allow me to set a scene for you: November has arrived, and I am entering into my last month as a study abroad student. Naturally, I freak out. This is certainly the fastest time has ever flown by. So of course, I decided to just go ahead and book everything I could think of. In the last month of my semester abroad, I travelled to Madrid, Vienna, Paris, Amsterdam, Venice, Prague, Florence, and London. Yeah, it was wild. I left for a whirlwind trip to Amsterdam and learned so much about myself. Of all the places I travelled, Amsterdam taught me the most about who Gracie is. To think I never planned to go in the first place! Life is funny like that. After trips to both the Red Light District and the Anne Frank House, I cried on the streets of Amsterdam and embraced emotions I never expected to emerge. I am someone who insists on tirelessly looking at the world through rose colored glasses. I have always been a person who sees the glass as half full, but Amsterdam reminded me how fortunate I am to even have a glass. Okay, so maybe I got carried away with that metaphor, but that's alright. How lucky am I to even have this life and experience all of these emotions? How beautiful is it to be moved by other human beings?

I woke up on the last day of our Amsterdam trip with a newfound purpose. We explored the beautiful canals and went to a chocolate factory which was so delicious! Ironically, this is where things began to go downhill for me. In the spirit of saving money, I ate the entire chocolate bar for dinner. I flew back to Rome where I boarded a nine hour overnight bus to Venice because it was a third of the cost of the train. I was determined to go on a solo trip, and Venice presented the perfect opportunity. My dad proposed to my mom on a gondola in Venice, so I have been dreaming of going there since I was a little girl. However, I could not convince any of my friends to take this overnight bus with me. An important point to note here is that I am someone who notoriously cannot sleep on buses, trains, cars, or planes, and I also have the terrible tendency to get violently carsick. You may already be sensing where this is going, and well, so could my stomach. The bus driver seemed very concerned for me, but I assured him I was fine. I plugged directions into my phone and embarked on an hour long trek to a recommended cafe. On the way there, my phone died and my portable charger was not working, because of course it wasn't. I took a two hour water taxi ride and befriended a large Irish man who held my backpack as I struggled not to throw up on this boat. When we finally returned to solid ground, I set out to find that cafe, and the woman there could not have been kinder (and she let me charge my phone!). I met these two adorable elderly women visiting from London who told me about their book club which read a murder-mystery taking place in Venice. People can be so lovely.

I explored beautiful churches and adorable bookshops for my afternoon in Venice. I purchased a pesto sandwich which was immediately stolen by a seagull, and I didn't know if I should start hysterically laughing or crying. I bought a journal with the intention of sitting at a restaurant along the Grand Canal and reflecting on the previous twenty four hours, but fate had other plans. I ended up befriending my very silly Italian waiter who brought me dessert and flowers before asking me to be his girlfriend and offering to take me to dinner (Mario, if you ever read this, you made my Venice trip very memorable!). We talked about love in the modern age and the importance of travel in adulthood, it was fantastic! I went to the bathroom to freshen up before my second overnight bus back to Rome, and I had a moment incredibly similar to the one Princess Mia has in The Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement when she looks in the mirror and goes, "I look like a moose." So thank you to Mario and staff for taking excellent care of me after a harrowing journey. All too soon, it was time for me to leave Venice.

On the train ride back to Rome, I read my much anticipated copy of Eat, Pray, Love. Now newly divorced and facing a turning point, Elizabeth Gilbert finds that she is confused about what is important to her. Daring to step out of her comfort zone, Liz embarks on a quest of self-discovery that takes her to Italy, India, and Bali. This book was delightful and exactly what my soul needed. Her descriptions of Rome far surpass mine, and she has such a beautiful understanding of Italian culture. But perhaps what struck me the most is that first quote from her that I have shared above, "l'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle." This is the same quote from my trip to Florence that stuck with me from Dante's Divine Comedy that I had included in my blog post Frolicking in Florence. The sun and the stars are these magnificent celestial beings which are only made visible to us by the love that moves them. I have never heard a more poetic reason to love, and it is comforting to know that Elizabeth Gilbert agrees!

I also adore her perspective on praying and loving. For so long, I have struggled to explain to others what my faith means to me, and I think she completely understands the very essence of what it means to love people in the way that God loves us. Religion is meant to be this grounding and communal experience that allows us to express love and sorrow and joy alike. It is a community for everyone, regardless of who you are or where you come from. This is so important, especially when the world seems unfamiliar or scary. The love that you put out into this world will find its way back to you, and how wonderful it is to find a community grounded in that love! So I returned to Rome with joyful tears in my eyes. I slept the day away before meeting my beautiful friends for one of those massive five liter Aperol Spritzes courtesy of my friend's mom. We laughed and shared stories with one another. I woke up the next morning, took my midterm, and boarded a plane to Prague to see another one of my beautiful friends who also radiates all of that wonderful love. When life seems hard and the journey seems harrowing, it is important to remember that the next step will always be one of three things: eat, pray, or love!

Under Pressure

Song Written and Performed by Queen and David Bowie, 1981

"'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word and love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night. And love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves. This is our last dance, this is our last dance, this is ourselves under pressure."

So I went to Prague and then I trained to Florence and then I flew to London and then I flew back to Rome to take my finals only to fly back to London for a layover on my way back to San Francisco. It was a crazy whirlwind, and only on these planes and trains did I have the chance to reflect on my other wonderful trips to Munich, Sorrento, Capri, Cinque Terre, Dublin, and Mykonos. With every stamp on my passport, I felt a sense of pride. All of these places became a part of me. Even when everything seemed so fast paced, I was still a world traveller, something I have always dreamed of being. Ferris Bueller had it right, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Life often feels like a constant whirlwind of responsibilities, expectations, and routines. We are frequently caught up in the day-to-day grind, striving for goals, meeting deadlines, and managing relationships. This fast pace can cause us to lose sight of the beauty, joy, and meaning present in each moment. Ferris' advice reminds us to pause, reflect, and take in the world around us before life passes us by.

Who would have thought that some of the most sage advice I would receive during my semester abroad in Rome would come from Queen, David Bowie, and Ferris Bueller? And yet, somehow, they understand. Love is such an old-fashioned word and yet it transcends language and time and space. It dares you to care for people you've never known and may never understand. And still, love desires more deeply than anything that you come to love yourself. I think most of the beauty of going abroad is getting out of the setting and the routine you have always known in order to come to know yourself for who you truly are. There's no magical answer awaiting me in any of these gorgeous countries full of such rich history. All of the love I have to give is inside me. All of the answers I am looking for can be found within.

"Love Actually"

Film Directed by Richard Curtis, 2003

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there—fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge—they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around."

I watched this movie before the final destination of my study abroad adventures: London. I flew into Heathrow Airport at six in the morning. My lovely readers, I must confess, this the most precious scene in any movie I have ever seen, but Heathrow Airport is an absolute mess. But everyone at every help desk and kiosk and baggage claim and security checks is so kind. It's almost as though they feel so bad about how crazy the airport is that they are kind automatically. I think it would be so wonderful if everyone adopted this approach. Everyone is always running around in such a hurry, and unexpected kindness may be the most under-utilized tool in the world.

In every country I went to, one thing always rang true: love actually is all around.

"Vienna"

Song Written and Performed by Billy Joel, 1977

"Slow down, you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile. But then if you're so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You'd better cool it off before you burn it out. You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day. But you know that when the truth is told that you can get what you want or you can just get old. You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through. When will you realize Vienna waits for you?"

Billy Joel knows a thing or two, and he wrote this heartbreaking song about it. And it's true, Vienna waits for you. Ironically, this was my shortest and speediest trip, but it was magical from start to finish. We were surprised to stumble upon the magical Vienna Christmas markets which reminded me of how special Christmas felt when I was a little girl. It was so beautiful, and it was such a special trip. These places wait for you. I would not have wished to visit Vienna a moment sooner or a moment later. When I arrived, I was right on time. Just stand still for a moment and listen, it will come to you. Life will unfold, there is no rush. There's beauty in lingering, in those deep belly breaths that ground you, in letting that stillness settle in. Your path is yours with bends that do not need explaining. Let each moment echo and remind you that you are right where you need to be.

Vienna waits for you and hopes that you drink a lot of wine and are extraordinarily well-read and buy too much perfume and write too many love letters and spread all kinds of affection. Don't let anyone tell you that it's a bad thing to feel things deeply. A full heart is a strong heart and being soft does not make you weak. Being soft and loving makes you radiant. You deserve all of the love in the world and so many good things.

In Vienna, we spontaneously ventured to a butterfly garden. There was an adorable little girl (pictured above) who was watching the butterflies dance on her hands, and she had the sweetest giggle. I didn't think my smile could get any wider when a butterfly came and landed right on my jacket. I made a little friend. Don't be embarrassed that little joys take up a lot of space in your heart. These little joys become the joy that you exude everyday. Our lives are collections of these little short stories and they explain how we experience this joy. Storytelling is the good stuff.

Life is a wonderful, mesmerizing, magical, fun, and silly thing. Artists write songs that split my heart in half and film movies that make me laugh until my stomach hurts and create poetry that explains how I feel far better than I ever will. And human beings are astounding. We all know we are going to die someday, and yet still we live. We shout and curse and care when the trash bag breaks and share puppy videos on Instagram and go for a sweet treat just because we can, and yet with every minute that passes we edge closer to the end. We marvel at the perfect sunset or the smell of a baby's head or the efficiency of vacuum-packed luggage, even though we know that everyone we love will cease to exist one day. I don't know how we do it and yet we do it every day.

We collect stories and communities and all kinds of trinkets. Vienna waits for you, these places are not going anywhere. The truth is, we are. We are beings in motion. Time flies. The good news is that you are the pilot. You can dance your way through Europe and sing out of tune at karaoke and swim in the Mediterranean sea in November and drink a Guinness at four in the morning. Slow yourself down. The world is yours.

"Everything I Know about Love"

A Memoir by Dolly Alderton

"It may seem difficult at times, but it's really as simple as breathing in and out. Rip open hearts with your fury and tear down egos with your modesty. Be the person you wish you could be, not the person you feel you are doomed to be. Let yourself run away with your feelings. You were made so that someone could love you. Let them love you."

"The magnitude of your loss reflects the magnitude of your love. You will not feel like this forever, I promise, and what will be left is awe that you could love some place so much. You're experiencing something that will soften and harden you, give you strength and allow you to be weak. You loved some place and it changed you. Aren't we the lucky ones."

Guys, I am a reader. This is something that is absolutely integral to my identity. I would read a new book every day if there was time. And all this is to say that this memoir is the best book I have ever read. Critics will say that her stories are exaggerated or her advice is annoying or that the whole thing just feels like her diary, and to that I say that perhaps this is the whole point! Dolly has written advice pieces in publications like The Sunday Times, where she addresses readers' dilemmas about relationships, friendships, careers, and self-esteem with humor, warmth, and insight. Her writing and speaking style are approachable, empathetic, and often peppered with personal anecdotes. She calls herself an "agony aunt," but I would prefer to her as a "sage sister." I've come to think of her my older sister who has the perfect advice for every moment.

Book stores always bring me a sense of inner peace no matter where I go. I was able to find this memoir in nearly every country we visited, and my favorite advice took on new meanings each time. My favorite chapter, "Twenty-Eight Lessons Learnt in Twenty-Eight Years" is something every single person should read, and I reread it everywhere I went. She is absolutely brilliant, and her book brings me to tears every single time.

On our last day in Paris, we stumbled upon this tourist site called the "Wall of Love" completely on accident. It says "I love you" 311 different times in 250 different languages. People come from all over the world to point to the "I love you" in their native language, and it was the best part of my trip. I have had a Paris-themed bedroom for more than ten years now. I have a Pinterest board dedicated to Parisian outfits. I have watched vlogs from all of my favorite influencers of their Paris trips. And even with all of this preparation, my favorite part of the trip happened when I was not even looking for it.

If I ever were to get a tattoo, I would get the "I love you" in the handwriting on this wall. If I have learned anything during my travels abroad, it is that you are born with an endless supply of love. You will never run out. You are not going to have an encounter with a new person ten years from now and suddenly say something like "Oh! That's it! No more love from me!" It's all love. It makes this world go around. You can love all of the places you go and all of the people you meet. The love you give is the love you receive. One day you are a little girl in a pink bedroom with a picture of the Eiffel Tower and then you blink and you're at the top of Eiffel Tower sharing a pink macaron with one of your best friends after a dancing the night away at a fabulous jazz club. Dreams do come true!

"On an Evening in Roma"

Song Written and Performed by Dean Martin, 1959

"Don't know what the country's coming to, but in Rome do as the Romans do. Will you? On an evening in Roma!"

Rome is home. Grazie mille, Roma! Thank you for taking such good care of me, you will have a piece of my heart forever and ever.

Thank you for coming on this journey with me! I hope you have enjoyed your glimpse of Gracie! ;)